Newsletter

I think back to when both of my children took their first wobbly steps. Now at six, Anna does more than walk; I think she thinks she is almost ready to drive! Christian will be two this April and of course, he is running around like a crazy man! But when they first started to walk it was stand up, fall down, stand up again, fall down, over and over again until they finally mastered it. When they made that first successful trek from one side of the family room to the other, the delight on their faces lit up the room like a 4th of July fireworks show!

Sometimes I feel like my life as the owner of Ostomy Secrets is like that! Every day holds something different; some days are full of growing pains while others are celebrations of triumph and victory. At Ostomy Secrets, we have been undergoing a lot of change. Internally, we have had employees who had have to leave and new ones who have come on board. Externally, we launched a beautiful new website along with a new shopping cart and a new company fulfilling our orders. This is very exciting news as it will enable us to better serve all of our customers. With all of these changes, there is a learning curve and a “getting used to” period. Just like when my kids were learning to walk. They stumbled some before they got the hang of it! And now they are unable to be stopped! We love servicing our customers and we look forward to continually doing so in a better and more efficient way. We believe that all these changes will only serve to enhance the Ostomy Secrets experience.

As we are looking at the upcoming year, we have some design ideas that we are working on and are hopeful to release this year. The one about which I am most excited at this moment is our newest women’s intimacy wrap, The Illusion. Using the popular trend of “color blocking” this black lace wrap has one nude colored pocket in which to hide your ostomy pouch. Available as a limited edition style, The Illusion was a popular Valentine’s item as well as one that every woman will want for year round use. I hope you will be as excited about it as everyone at OS is! See ostomysecrets.com for more details.

We are also working on some other ideas that I will share with you as soon as they are ready to be released. So stay posted! I hope everyone had a wonderful Valentine’s Day and I look forward to connecting with you next month.

Until then,

Paula Erwin-Toth, MSN, RN, CWOCN, CNS, has over 30 years experience in the nursing field. From Deerfield, Ohio, Paula shares her expertise on intimacy.

Ah it’s February - the month dedicated to cards, flowers, candy, and of course LOVE. Whether your love is new or of long duration, keeping the romance alive is important. Intimacy is much more than sex. It is the emotional and physical bonding of two people. Now that you have an ostomy, you may have some questions regarding how it may affect your relationship. After all my years of nursing coupled with my personal experience of being an ostomate since childhood, I have a few things I would like to share.

First, remember your partner cares about you. They want to see you well and if that means having an ostomy then so be it. In over 30 years of WOC/ET nursing, I have never seen a relationship fail because of an ostomy. Relationships fail for a variety of reasons and sometimes the ostomy is a convenient scapegoat.

Second, the most important sexual organ is the brain. Actress Sophia Loren is quoted as saying "Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% of what people think you've got." Even if you are nervous, act confident in yourself and your partner will respond to that confidence.

Third, focus on your partner, not yourself. Nothing is more flattering or arousing to a partner than your desire for them.

Fourth, remember to relax and have fun. Sexy underwear designed for ostomates can be both functional and alluring. Let's face it a $15 bra from a big box store serves the same function as a $45 bra from a designer catalog but how you feel while wearing them are worlds apart. The same holds true for ostomy accessories. Indulge yourself and enjoy!

Fifth, remember intimacy is one of the joys of life. Cherish the moments you share with the one you love. Big and small everyday gestures are what keep the romance alive. "Love does indeed make the world go 'round."

***These tips are not meant to replace the advice of a medical doctor. ****

After having been diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis and experiencing no change with medication, Californian Pat Walling opted for ilesotomy surgery in January 2006. She realized this was her lifesaver and she wasn’t going to look back. “I was so sick and no meds were working,” Pat remembers. "I decided I was not going to feel sorry for myself and that I would make the best of my situation."

As anyone who has had ostomy surgery knows, it isn't always fun and games, but a positive attitude such as Pat’s can at least make the journey a little more bearable. For Pat, working with an ostomy nurse to help her smooth some rough patches and getting involved in a local ostomy support group were two things that really gave her strength to carry on.

Part of her journey included going to the UOAA National Conference in Reno, NV last summer. After the conference Pat decided to commemorate her experience through something she loves to do: quilting. "I have been quilting since 2003 and started making t-shirt quilts a year or so ago. When Pat saw different t-shirts from different vendors at the conference she started asking if she could have a t-shirt in order to incorporate them into her quilt. After I made the quilt, I decided I wanted to donate the quilt to the UOAA as a reminder of how wonderful the conference was." What a nice gesture and beautiful commendation!

Pat Walling (pictured in the middle) with her finished quilt.

While in Reno, Ostomy Secrets did a presentation at the ConvaTec Gala. During the evening, Pat remembers Cricket joking on stage about how when Cricket's bag was full that before she had Ostomy Secrets’ panties she used to cradle her bag and walk like a gorilla to the bathroom to empty it. “I could totally identify with that!” laughs Pat, as she pictured herself doing the very same thing. So when her daughter surprised Pat with two classic wraps for a birthday present, Pat was elated! "Now I don’t have that big lump hanging off of me and pulling on me!" Pat really feels Ostomy Secrets has been a big part of helping her in her journey.

"I want other ostomates to know they are not alone in this. Surgery has given all of us a new life (regardless of the reason why surgery was performed) and if I can help anyone see that, then I am very happy."

Along with that good attitude, it doesn’t hurt to have a sense of humor along the way (see next page!). With the nudging of her support group president, Pat named her stoma, Pele. If you don’t recognize this, Pele is the Hawaiian goddess of the volcano, who according to their myth has quite the history of "fiery eruptions"! And sometimes Pele does that very thing, but Pat just thanks her for working properly and gets on with life! Way to go, Pat!

After interviewing Pat Walling for the newsletter and hearing she named her stoma "Pele", it jogged my memory about a story Lisa shared with me over two years ago. I am sure you will agree a good story needs to be retold and this one fit perfectly on the heels of Pat’s Hawaiian Stoma! What seemed to be a normal day for Lisa turned into a day where her stoma decided it was going to leave appropriate behavior behind in favor of becoming a volcanic entity. In other words, her stoma wanted to be Pele.

At that time Lisa’s daughter was a K-4 student. We usually address her as "Anna", but for the sake of this Cricket’s Corner she will henceforth be referred to as "The Walking Petri Dish". The Walking Petri Dish went to pre-school one day and returned home, carrying dangerous and vile cell cultures collected from all the children in central Florida and unbeknownst to Lisa, decided to share a few cells with Mommy. The Walking Petri Dish wasn’t feeling so well so Lisa tended to her, trying to make her feel better. The miniature contagious cell carrier got better, returned to school and all seemed well and good again for the Becker family.

Until, Lisa took a shower. It just happened to be what we call "Free Day": the day of a bag change where the daring ostomate takes off the whole appliance for a bag-free shower. The shower is usually a little longer as the ostomate basks in normalcy for a few short minutes.

Lisa's enjoyable shower ended and as she was leaving the refreshment of her showering session, her exit became a re-enactment of Mount Vesuvius; you know the historic volcanic eruption in Italy where the explosion and lava was so terrible that the cities of Pompeii and Herculaneum were destroyed, killing some 10-25,000 people. Now that is some explosion. According to Lisa, Mount Vesuvius had nothing on what happened next!

The Walking Petri Dish had obviously spread infectious cells and Lisa’s body was revolting against the foreign invasion. As Lisa describes it, even after not eating dinner and holding off breakfast, her intestines decided they would not comply. Completely exposed, as one usually is when one is exiting the shower, Lisa had no recourse as her Pele started firing, with “lava” actively erupting. Lisa was frantically trying to wipe and shield everything with cause. As she wiped, another eruption would occur and spew. This went on for what seemed like an eternity when Lisa realized The Walking Petri Dish had spread to her what all the other kids in school had been fighting. And diarrhea is diarrhea, no matter what the exit strategy.

With no time to think about how she got it or what it was, Lisa frenetically tried to clean everything up as she covered her stoma. But it just kept firing away. Then, as if the tectonic plates had suddenly settled, it stopped. No more lava; heavy sigh of relief! Then laughing out loud, Lisa’s acute sense of priorities kicked in. She immediately had to text me to tell me this outrageous story!

In all the craziness of every day life, it made me realize that a laugh shared is twice as good and that in this life, it’s the little things like laughing that can mean so much.